#SOL15.Right Here.Write Now

SOL

Character:                  me

Plot:                            tbd

Setting:                       right here. write now.

I lay in the bed just now half praying, half running the day through my head, chastising myself for not fully praying, sweeping over the guilt with a prayer about not being right and asking God for help with everything—in particular my thoughts and distractions.

I do what I do when I haven’t done what I needed—I make my list on my phone. First, I start with the time we have to leave and dot backwards to “get up.” I have a thing about setting—it’s less of a thing and more of a hindrance. This thing where everything must be “just-so” before I begin my work. It’s an affliction called “tidiness.”

On the original to-do list, the first thing I wrote was to tidy the kitchen, start laundry and feed the dogs.

I edited the plot. “There is no challenge without change.” I had the nerve to retweet it. Did I have the nerve to live it?

7:30-write slice, write note to Aunt Carolyn, write to Miss Em.

I prioritized the things that I knew would have me awake at 2am. I’d wake frantic and frustrated that I threw the Slice competition by not having started and put the other two items on another list of to-dos that would likely get overshadowed by “tidy this.

The tidying affliction is a slice of insanity. I seek to tidy things that always get messed: dishes, clothes, play-rooms, classrooms…

Never once have I decided to tidy the china cabinet.

So one is done. And the dogs were kind enough not to blow my cover. I thought once they saw me they would yelp and such to be let out. But I hear deep, rhythmic breathing by them. Upstairs, my little ones coughing a bit, stirring. My husband half sleep, doing the same.

Slice of quiet     Slice of cold       Slice of I wish that fire were whirring warmth at me

Slice of I wish there was a day in between Saturday and Sunday…

The stirs are turning louder, and somebody has to feed these kids!

Slice away.

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6 thoughts on “#SOL15.Right Here.Write Now

  1. LSquared March 2, 2015 / 2:41 am

    Welcome! And I know that feeling of get the list done. Definitely not enough time. I like your idea of sandwiching an unnamed day between Saturday and Sunday. Or, I’d vote for a three day weekend.
    Tidying as an affliction? I have never thought of it that way.
    I am wondering if “there is no challenge without change” meant much more than revising your day to make sure you met the writing challenge?

    • charinickerson March 11, 2015 / 5:17 pm

      “Challenge without change” In the last few years my school has delved into 21st Century Learning and the vocabulary that strikes me most is “adaptability.” As a teacher of Kindergarten students, I talk about development incessantly, but I often don’t see myself as one who is developing until after having done it. For me, change is challenge–and while I don’t think that’s uncommon, I think having change as an expectation means that I don’t feel like something is happening to me, but rather that I am in a constant state of becoming and adjusting. So yes, much more than just this. But even this is proven to be challenging because I am learning how to spend my time and that changes on a number of variables. My latest posts have been laptop in lap while fighting sleep. Today I hope to do it sooner, but I also want to be an engaged blogger–one who converses with those who took the time to read and comment. 11 days in and learning–adapting–changing. Thanks for stopping by!

  2. carolmcbroom March 2, 2015 / 4:51 am

    This is a beautiful way of capturing my thoughts on prayer and the guilt that I feel when I know it isn’t enough. Thank you for sharing. I also love the clever way you presented your ideas. I look forward to reading your posts.

    • jplgough March 2, 2015 / 5:13 pm

      Thanks for your comment, Carol. I connect to your thoughts. I wonder how we might encourage each other to give ourselves “a break” on the it’s-not-enough complex. We give what we have at the moment, and it is valuable and valued. I appreciate your prompt to help me give myself permission.

    • charinickerson March 11, 2015 / 5:19 pm

      You’re very kind–and thank you for your time in reading my posts. I know the power of positive feedback from being a teacher, but I must say, in the last 11 days I’ve come to look forward to it from the Slicer community. And not just positive feedback, but encouragement to keep writing. Thank you.

    • charinickerson March 11, 2015 / 5:20 pm

      You’re very kind–and thank you for your time in reading my posts. I know the power of positive feedback from being a teacher, but I must say, in the last 11 days I’ve come to look forward to it from the Slicer community. And not just positive feedback, but encouragement to keep writing. Thank you.

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