#SOL15.Make.Me.Forget

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We need prayer because our lives are messy and we are not able to untangle irreparable damage. We need prayer because even as evolved as we are—we cannot erase the ills that pain the human condition. We cannot change the impact that someone else’s fate has on us—even if we love them dearly.

I was shocked to learn of their pain—but it did help me put a finger on the restlessness I saw behind their eyes. The irritation that singed every word that came out of their mouths. They were hurting and without the son they bore.

Shocked to hear of his crime, burdened by their pain, curious about their condition…

We prayed.

Yet, they live. They breathe. They carry on.

And we all have messes we can’t sort.
Only visible behind our eyes
Lies, secrets, woes wrapped in Ann Taylor
Carried delicately in Tory Burch

Evolved in presenting ourselves polished
Knowing full well that the largest most valuable stones are hidden deep in the earth.

A freshly mined diamond hardly looks like the polished rock sold in stores
It’s gritty, dark, raw

Isn’t that what’s best—a raw diet?

He made her forget.
At least that night.
The woes of their son evaporated and he playfully fed her a bite from his plate.
Risen above their burden, they danced a bit, fidgeted for each other’s embrace.
It was sweet. A light moment. A love moment.

I told the story to K.
“That’s what she needed, her husband made her forget her troubles.”

“Miss Chari…”
I almost heard what was being said except for the shrieking in the background.
“I said, ‘I’m sorry!’ I said, ‘I’m sorry!’”

A crowd had formed.
“I said, ‘sorry!’ I said, ‘sorry!’”
Now tears had formed.
The brigade had marched over from the tire swing.
I already knew.
Something happened.
Obviously there was an apology
But instead of acceptance, the reply was “I’m telling”

And here they stood, expectant.
I scanned the situation as they approached. There were no physical injuries, no blood—but left unchecked these emotions could snowball.

Me: Have you told your friend you don’t like what she is doing? You know, you can say that. If you come to me, you haven’t used your own authority. You can tell your friend you don’t like what she’s doing and ask her to do something yourself without coming to me.

I wasn’t bothered by their advance—but I also know they must learn to navigate social situations with poise and grace. And they can do it!

Student: My tummy hurts.
Student: Yeah, mine hurts, too.
Me: Do you feel like you need to throw-up?/Do you need to potty?/Are you hungry?

I run the drill as succinctly as a triage nurse—slicing away at the non-emergent maladies.

A Band-aid does wonders for the soul. It gives attention and comfort—not bad for a four cent commodity. I can’t see a boo-boo, but if you say one is there and this Band-aid affirms that, we both win.

S: My finger hurts
Me: Shall we cut it off?

S: She hit me
Me: Let’s go beat her up!

Distraction via nonsense

Make me forget the pain I’m in.
Make me forget the agony of being on the outside of the group.
Make me forget my hurt feelings.

It hurts to remember.
Make me forget.

A moment of laughter.
A moment of kindness.
A moment of dis-tract-ion…
It’s all I need.
It’s all she needed.
It’s all they need.

Float me away from this moment just for a moment.

We need tissues! We need tissues! We need tissues! This doctor does it best.

This moment may hurt. This shot may hurt. This truth may hurt.
But, look at these bubbles, this star
Listen to my silliness
Feel this moment where I take you on an ephemeral but ethereal journey away from your pain.

What pain?

Dis-trac-tion…

S: Wait, can I try that paper airplane/origami/paintbrush/iPad app?
Me: S, Did you want your Band-aid?
S: Huh? Oh. I guess I don’t really need a Band-aid.

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4 thoughts on “#SOL15.Make.Me.Forget

  1. mayawoodall March 5, 2015 / 2:21 am

    “Feel this moment where I take you on an ephemeral but ethereal journey away from your pain.” I love this line, and I love the way you share the art of distraction while calling attention the need to be loved.

    • charinickerson March 11, 2015 / 5:58 pm

      When I think of my days, they are a blur of distraction. I saw a funny comic that said being a woman is like having 5,632 tabs open in Google..all the time. Mommy, wife, teacher. Distraction seems to be pork-barreled in there. I’m working on being more present in each moment. It is a new challenge. I like that one of the things this challenge has revealed is that I can slow the moments when I take a moment to relive them, convey them, write them. Thanks for stopping by.

  2. LSquared March 5, 2015 / 2:59 am

    Love moments, light, and band-aid moments. I read this as if you were in a reverie, remembering and your thoughts were interrupted by the kids and their scuffle.

    • charinickerson March 11, 2015 / 6:03 pm

      Ooh. I like that interpretation. Keep that.
      It’s two stories woven together by one theme. And, I’m sure I was talking or thinking about something before my attention was demanded away.
      But I love how it read to you. Thank you for saying so. Thank you for stopping by.

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